Do you think you are emotionally intelligent? By definition, emotional intelligence is your ability to understand and manage emotions. We often consider someone emotionally intelligent when they can regulate their feelings, diffuse arguments easily, or stay calm in stressful situations.
In psychological circles, the importance of emotional intelligence, often referred to as EQ (emotional quotient), is well-recognised. When we aim to improve or change something, self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, intrinsic motivation, and empathy—all components of EQ—are crucial.
However, EQ is not an innate skill; it can be cultivated through practice, just like physical exercise. A self-aware approach helps individuals develop this skill. In academics, emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role for both students and teachers. Its influence extends to shaping the classroom environment, relationships, and personal growth.
Let’s explore this concept through a hypothetical but relatable scenario involving a teacher and a student.
Background:
In a 6th-grade classroom, Mr. Srinivas, a mathematics teacher, is known for his enthusiastic teaching style. However, one of his students, Kavya Mukherjee, consistently struggles with mathematics and often acts out during lessons. She avoids assignments and becomes disruptive when asked to participate. Mr. Srinivas grows increasingly frustrated and believes that she simply lacks interest in learning.
Situation:
Unbeknownst to Mr. Srinivas, Kavya is dealing with emotional challenges at home. Her parents are going through a divorce, leaving her overwhelmed. Mathematics, a subject she already finds difficult, has become an outlet for her emotional stress. Mr. Srinivas, unaware of her situation, responds by enforcing stricter discipline, such as removing privileges, isolating her from group activities, and frequently punishing her.
One day, after a particularly challenging math problem, Mr. Srinivas throws his book across the room and storms out. The classroom falls silent. Mr. Srinivas, feeling upset and unsure of how to handle the situation, seeks help from the school counsellor, Mrs. Gurkiran Joshi.
Introducing Emotional Intelligence:
During their conversation, Mr. Srinivas explains his frustration with Kavya’s behaviour. Mrs. Joshi listens and introduces him to the concept of emotional intelligence (EQ). Despite his 14 years of teaching experience, Mr. Srinivas is unfamiliar with EQ and its significance in education. Mrs. Joshi explains that just like physical exercise shapes our external appearance, practising EQ can improve well-being and enhance teaching methods.
Improving EQ: Mr. Srinivas’s Emotional Intelligence Response
Following Mrs. Joshi’s advice, Mr. Srinivas reflects on his approach and decides to incorporate emotional intelligence into his teaching.
- Self-Awareness:
Mr. Srinivas recognises his own frustration and stress. Instead of responding with more discipline, he steps back and realises that his emotions may be clouding his judgment. He decides to explore the underlying cause of Kavya’s behaviour. - Social Awareness:
The next day, Mr. Srinivas approaches Kavya privately and calmly asks how she’s feeling, rather than focusing on her disruptive behaviour. He listens without interrupting. Sensing genuine concern, Kavya opens up about the emotional struggles she’s facing at home, explaining how they are affecting her in class. - Relationship Management:
Instead of reacting emotionally to Kavya’s outbursts, Mr. Srinivas remains calm. He lets her express her frustrations, validating her feelings without judgment. This de-escalates the situation and builds trust between them. - Self-Management:
Mr. Srinivas helps Kavya identify her emotions and suggests strategies to manage her stress during math lessons, such as taking short breaks when she feels overwhelmed or raising her hand when she needs help, rather than acting out.
Kavya’s Emotional Intelligence Development:
Through Mr. Srinivas’s new approach, Kavya begins to develop emotional intelligence skills, even if she doesn’t fully realise it yet.
- Self-Awareness:
Kavya starts to understand that her outbursts aren’t solely about math—they are a response to the emotional turmoil caused by her parents’ divorce. Recognising this is the first step toward gaining control over her emotions. - Self-Management:
With Mr. Srinivas’s guidance, Kavya practices pausing when she feels frustrated. She learns to take deep breaths or ask for help instead of lashing out. Over time, she becomes more adept at managing her emotional responses, which improves both her behaviour and focus in class. - Social Awareness:
Kavya also begins to realise how her actions affect others. She recognises that her disruptions impact her classmates and her teacher, leading her to become more considerate of her behaviour in the classroom.
Conclusion:
Mr. Srinivas and Kavya work together to create a supportive learning plan. They agree that if Kavya feels overwhelmed, she can signal for a break or work with a peer for extra help. Mr. Srinivas also adjusts his teaching style by offering more encouragement and breaking complex problems into smaller, more manageable steps.
Over the following weeks, Kavya’s behaviour improves significantly. She participates more in class and gains confidence in her math skills. Mr. Srinivas, having developed his emotional intelligence, begins to apply similar strategies with other students, recognising that each child comes with unique emotional and learning challenges.
Mr. Srinivas is now proud of his new skill set, which extends beyond mathematics. He thanks Mrs. Joshi for introducing him to emotional intelligence and asks her to continue guiding more teachers in developing well-being skills. Mrs. Joshi smiles and mentions that the school management is planning to start a blogging platform where she can share more insights on wellness skills with educators, students, and parents.
Also Read: Building Emotional Intelligence In Children: Skills, Importance and Activities
